Here Am I

I woke up this morning with the phrase: Stay in God's face.( Stay in his remembrance. Be the shewbread. ) How to make oneself available to Him was also on my mind this morning. I also recalled a dream I had some ten years ago. Maybe not exactly ten but it's been a while. Six maybe? In the dream I was walking down a long corridor with doors on either side. All of the doors were closed and there were some I checked to see if they were unlocked. None were so I continued walking up the corridor until I came to a room with an open door. I didn't cross the threshold of that room. Although it had the appearance of a social event, I knew everyone in it was dead. I stood there at the threshold looking in. The room was fairly crowded but not overly so. In it we're celebrities I recognized. One of whom I still remember from the dream. And I must say I am no longer a fan of his. There were three people facing me. Two were seated. One of whom I didn't know was seated to the left. Another, seated in the middle, was a family friend that passed away. The third person was standing to the left of the person I knew. He is a family friend and a relative of the person I knew. He is very much alive outside of the dream world. The seated friend smiled at me and somehow communicated to me that I should not enter the room. A room full of dead people? You got that right! Surely I wasn't going in there! Funny, though, I wasn’t afraid. I was, however, concerned for the friend that was standing inside the room. I've known him, them, since my childhood. At the time I had that dream I was carpooling with the gentleman's (living one) niece. The next time I saw her I asked about her uncle. She told me she didn't stay in contact with him directly but one of her sisters did. According to her sister he was still crazy as ever going back and forth to jail. Finding it odd that I asked about him she wanted to know what was up. I didn't want to tell her about the dream for fear I'd sound like a kook. (As if it was a first, sheesh) That and the fact her deceased brother was in it and I didn't know how she would handle that part. I told her anyway and we were both dumbstruck by the dream. A short time after that when we were carpooling again she told me she had seen her uncle and told him about the dream I had. She said "you're not going to believe this". I about lost it when she said he told her that he recently had a similar dream. By recently it was about the same time I had mine. Do I need to say that both of us dreamers caught the next thing smoking to church? I've had dreams and I've had dreams. The fact that the two of us shared the same dream motivated me to get my hide into church- real quick like. I took him with me, too! And there I was rejoining the members of my brothers church whom I hadn't seen in a long time. Loooong time. What brings you back? I had this dream blah blah blah I think the Lord has called me and I'm saving thing this man's soul...well I'm bringing him here for you to save it because I don't know what to do about this dream I had. The Lord’s calling me. THE LORD’S CALLING ME!! That's not quite how it went down but close enough. So close that I so overwhelmed myself with the idea that the Lord was calling me into service. I was a pious, fervent church goer for about two services, if that many. But that one service, though! I was a certified saint. I stopped going to my brothers church feeling like an idiot after proclaiming my solemn oath of being called. Being called, not answering the call. As my son would say, what a derp. I got the call again and that time I contacted a pastor friend of mine to ask his thoughts of getting and answering the call. Basically I was thinking about thinking about the call. I thought about the responsibility of saving people's souls and traveling to foreign countries to convert the masses. I thought about seminary school. After I researched the cost of seminary school I stopped thinking about seminary school... So I did nothing. Again. Hello? Hi, may I speak to Brenda, please. Speaking. Who is this? This is the Lord, thy God. Sorry, I meant to say this is her sister. She's not here right now. May I take a message? What's your number? Ok, got it. I'll have her call you as soon as she wakes up. I mean comes back. Fast forward to a year and a half ago on a Sunday morning. I was awakened by the phone ringing. It was my dad asking if I would go to church with him. I said yes. Are you kidding, that's my dad! Of course, I would go. Being a daddy's girl and all. He drove from Carson, Ca. to pick me up and take me to a church in Pomona a five minute drive from my house. Ask me how that makes sense. I will tell you I don’t know but I have been attending that same church ever since. I answered my father's call. AND my Father's call. No dream, no discussions, no seminary plans. Just me being available when the Lord said it’s time. I lost contact with the friend when we stopped carpooling together. The last time I talked to her she told me that her uncle had gotten his life together. He was attendung church regularly and working a steady job. I know I didn't save his soul. God did that. He saved both of us. After all that the only thing I needed to do was say yes, Lord. Here am I. Do as you will through me. Suggested reading 1 Samuel 3:1-11,