Wednesday, July 22, 2015

How is Your Spirit Filled?



By the Holy Spirit it was brought to my attention how I tended to casually read through scriptures where unclean spirits were cast out by simply assuming they were demons or devils.  It’s not a terrible assumption but then the question of what an unclean spirit looked like arose and kept nagging at me.  With the world being what it is today the first analogy that formulated in my mind was that of the recent police shootings.  I had to think of the net effect each incident had on my spirit.  Sure enough the latent image of an unclean spirit began to manifest.

With each report of an unarmed victim of a police shooting I felt just about every emotion mentioned in Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. As a result, I especially couldn’t resist evil speaking or lashan hara which Wikipedia explains: Speech is considered to be lashon hara if it says something negative about a person or party, is not previously known to the public, is not seriously intended to correct or improve a negative situation, and is true.  In my case it didn’t matter if it was true or not; my spirit was unclean. 

How else might an unclean spirit appear?  Perhaps in the form of a person filled with hatred or the opposite of Matthew 5:44, one who harbors un-forgiveness (Matthew 6:15, Ephesians 4:32), fear (Matthew 10:28, Luke 12:5, 2 Timothy 1:7).  All of the above are indicators of an unclean spirit.  That’s not including a person filled with worry or the cares of the world (Philippians 4:6), or depression (Nehemiah 2:2). 

1Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.  Those scriptures would appear to describe the various ways a person can filled with unclean spirits. 

Using the Hebrew word for unclean found in Strong’s Concordance, tame (taw-may), we see there are three striking ways on can be unclean: sexually, religiously (idols), or ceremonially by touching the dead.  Granted we don’t often come into contact with dead bodies but we do comingle with those who are spiritually dead or unrighteous.  Are we not warned by Paul not to keep company with such people in 1 Corinthians 5:9-11?  For those not continually renewed and strengthened in Christ those associations can adversely impact their spirits making them unclean.

The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14) How easily we wound our spirit with what we allow into our gates and by words, thoughts and actions.  Is it not possible then that an unclean spirit can be an open door for the spirit of infirmity?  Luke 13:11 speaks of the woman who had a spirit of infirmity for 18 years who was “bowed together and could in no wise lift herself up.”  Once the spirit of infirmity takes hold we, like that woman, can no wise lift ourselves up. 

When reading Matthew 10:1 one can discern the relationship between unclean spirits and all manner of sickness and disease.  Which begs the question to be asked, How are you spirit filled?

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)

 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

MURDERED OR MARTYRED?


 

It is hard for me to put into words how I feel about the recent shootings of nine people who were in a Bible Study at Emanuel A.M.E. Church.  Something disallows me to feel saddened although it is quite sad what happened.  If I could ascribe an emotion to it the closest one would be anger but even that is a stretch.  I dare not call it hopeless resignation although I do believe the atmosphere and tone within this country as of late has been conducive to such an act of violence against blacks.  Whether being killed in isolated incidents across the country or in groups the overall devaluation of certain lives in this country has become commonplace and has given birth to the slogan ‘Black Lives Matter.”  Certainly they do.  All lives matter and we must be careful not to esteem some more than the others. 

There seemed, to me, to be an undertone that, perhaps, the lives lost in that church mattered more than, say, the lives of Trayvon Martin or Eric Garner and countless others because they were in prayer and not perceived as thugs or having a spotty past.  Like I said I think the deaths of some have created an atmosphere that black lives are targets across the board. 

Before I could further entertain such thoughts I heard Holy Spirit speak to me about what is really at stake.  I heard him speak that God will not be mocked.  21-year-old Dylann Roof was there to mock God.  He was there like a wolf in sheep’s clothing in an attempt to prove that God cannot save those who worship Him.  He was there in an attempt to mock those who believe and trust in God.  He was there to scatter the sheep– not just in Charleston, South Carolina but throughout the body of Christ.  He was there to suppress the word of the Lord very much like the crucifixion of Jesus was meant to be the end of what Jesus stood for and preached. 

What the devil didn’t know then and doesn’t know now in the person of Dylann Roof is precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. (Psalm 116:15)  Like the recent martyrdom of the 21 Coptic Christians by ISIS those nine Christians killed here in the United States died as martyrs worshipping the One true living, Almighty God.

They are absent from this life and their bodies but present with the Lord.  Instead of mocking God, Dylann Roof confirmed His word in 2 Timothy 3:12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution and nothing shall separate them from God’s love.  They have achieved the ultimate victory; to die with a worship on their lips.  Instead of disgracing them he has bestowed upon them God’s honor. 

He also awakened the body of Christ as a whole and has reminded us to watch and pray.  Surely we are in the latter part of the last days and the sons of God are called upon to decide without a doubt whether they are with God or if they are His enemies.  With tribulation some will fall away from the faith.  The good thing is more will take a stand and the Gospel of the Good News of Jesus Christ will spread like a wildfire and even more than the devil counted on will catch the flame and burn ever hotter for Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Jesus Loves You

For most of this month I've been grappling with what to write beyond the title of the next post.  I'm positive it's a good title, 'In Search of Doubt" but the good words to accompany such a title led me all over the map.  Have you ever had that happen to you in the midst of writing?  Maybe it's for another time.  Yes, another time will have to do. 

Lost in thought, as I often am, this thought struck me, "I'm sure I lost the will to live a long time ago and one of the reasons I haven't dropped dead yet is an equally strong will to prove myself wrong." So that's where I'm at today; actively proving myself wrong.  There's probably a hint of proving others wrong, too, but that's not really a priority.   Truth be told those others are merely whispers in the wind that have little bearing on my direction.

Not far behind that thought was the memory of a conversation I had with my nephew, Timothy.  Yesterday he was sharing with me some of the things he has been learning in church.  The most significant thing he told me was Jesus loves you.  A simple truth from the mouth/heart of a four year old babe.  He spoke to me about John the Baptist and how Jesus lives in your heart.  I must admit things got a little weird when he told me that while you sleep God opens your mouth and puts your heart inside but, hey, he's four!

He wasn't concerned about doctrine.   He didn't even know the full story of John the Baptist... but he got me out of my head and concern over how I might share the Gospel.  Everyone has their theory, you know?  Jesus loves you that's the Good News.  Like I said, simple truth and delivered at the exact time I needed to hear it.  Everyone needs to hear it.  The circumstances of life will change on a dime but the truth that Jesus loves you never will.

Jesus loves you.

That's the best thing I could ever write for this blog- Jesus loves you.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is high, I cannot attain to it. (Psalm 139:6)  Maybe that is the search for doubt- the too wonderful knowledge that Jesus loves me.  The fact that I cannot attain to it doesn't change the fact of the truth of His love. 

Jesus loves you right now as you are.  Receive it.  Believe it.  Accept it.  As I type I am telling myself deal with it!  Now that I think about it, there's nothing to prove.  Jesus proved it all on the cross- His love that is and by His resurrection the proof is living in the hearts of men today.  It's not my will that matters anyway but His absolutely does.  His will is being manifested in me and through me as I yield to the words of a four year old,  "Jesus loves you."

Indeed He does. 

Jesus loves you. 






Friday, April 3, 2015

I Witness



 
You say that Jesus is coming back, my question to you is when?

I don’t believe in your God and won’t hear of that again.

After all there’s Mohammed and Buddha, even Karma.

Why is your Jesus the Way? I won’t get left behind

I simply choose to stay.

 

Does God truly exist?

How about me, myself and I; that trinity

(That hell bound tryst)?

Go away with your Christianity.

It sounds to me like insanity.

What kind of God lets good people go to hell

And whoremongers live to tell?

 

I have my own rational, logical mind.

I do as I please.  I hold my head up high.

I refuse to get on my knees and beg for mercy

You Christians are just thirsty (and judgmental).

 

What darkness?  I can’t perceive it.

The world is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow;

Nothing but sin and sorrow.

It is what it is and it is and I is… me.

 

You speak of resurrection but not of insurrection.

People today are being martyred for the very God you proclaim.

Why should I not, for myself, make my own name?

This God you believe and the way, the truth, and the life I cannot perceive.

I refuse to get on my knees or beg for mercy or be forced to choose

Your God for a life I might lose to die by the sword.

No, way! I refuse to climb on board Noah’s ark,

The Ark of the Covenant or your Kingdom of God government.

 

You say that Jesus is coming back my question to you is when?

Say what again? The oceans that once overflowed the land

Are now held back by His hand.  I’ve gone to the beach for years

To lay on the sand and watch ships sail on leftover judgment

And people swim in and surf on God’s own tears?

The waters still recede and soon there’ll be none left.

There’ll be nothing left to drink but drought, destruction, and death?

 

I can no longer hold my head up high and await the thief in the night!

Hell awaits my arrival but then again heaven does too.  You say He went

Away to the Father to prepare a place for you? While there is still yet time

I can get on my knees repent and beg for mercy?  In my soul there’s been

A hunger for the Lord and for His Holy Spirit I’ve been thirsty.  It is what it is

And it is and I is… thirsty. 

 

The world is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

But so is God and soon there will be no more time left to borrow,

no more left over judgment but present day wrath.  No more oceans

to hold back only hell’s fiery bath.   He comes not to bring peace but a sword

Like a thief in the night.  And God said let there be Light.
 
Copyright 2015 Brenda Howard

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Shackin' Up


Have you ever had one of those moments when the light of revelation suddenly switches on and you blurt out loudly, “Oh, I get it!”  If you’re lucky you’ll have those moments privately.  If you’re me you’ll blurt out, “Oh, man! I have commitment issues!”  Thankfully the timing of this particular outburst happened when I was having a private moment.  Mind you I have had many moments when I thought I was an undiagnosed Tourette’s patient. Yes, things get awkward frequently when you’re me.

What is most astonishing is this was not a new revelation.  Is it possible to have a recurrent revelation?  Let’s say yes it is and define it as one that comes up and gets pushed back down to the bowels of revelation storage from whence it came only to come up again in times of distress or contemplative introspection.  Ah, who am I kidding?  I was crying out to God asking Him, “What’s wrong with me?” This time the answer would not simply go away with a slight nod of my head and a whimsical albeit stupid look on my face. 

Admitting a commitment issue would invariably mean also admitting a rejection issue and probably even a trust issue.  I’ve admitted to lots of things including these, by the way, but have I dealt with them?  Not necessarily and certainly not definitively.  Since that intense moment of revelation the phrases commitment issues, rejection and trust issues kept repeating on me like spiritual indigestion.  I swallowed the reflux like the queen of heartburn– like a champ, ok wimp, and just let it settle in my belly. If you’re wondering how ulcers formulate, like I am right now, I think we’re on to something.

I recently heard a sermon about Hosea the prophet.  He was commanded by God to marry a prostitute, he chose Gomer, to symbolize the whoredoms of Israel. Overall it was a powerful, sobering message.  It was one in which I substituted myself for Gomer and the Lord for Hosea.  I was no better at committing to the Lord than Gomer was to Hosea.  I had been shackin’ up with the Lord, quite frankly, keeping my true self hidden and afraid that the words “I will never leave nor forsake you’ were just that, words. 

Who am I that this great God would choose me and call me His child?  People had called me friend, wife, employee; whatever, then rejected me and left me hanging.  I had since made the building up of walls around me, running from and avoiding not living up to others’ expectations of me a way of life.  Private failure is one thing but failing someone else I couldn’t handle.  Them failing me was even more challenging as I thought the disconnect was ultimately yet another of my failures.  I couldn’t trust people to not at some point leave me feeling like a failure. 

All of those unrealistic expectations were magnified because I saw myself as Gomer.  What expectations did the Lord have of me that I would ultimately not live up to? My whoredoms were constantly before me. I wanted to stop but couldn’t help myself.  I began to understand Paul’s plight as described in Roman’s 7:15-25. 

I mentioned three whoredoms:  commitment issues, rejection issues and trust issues from an incredibly long list of whoredoms but those three were enough to make my relationship with God more like shackin’ up than a real intimate relationship with Him.  I now understand how it’s been less than a committed marriage.   Contemplative introspectively it wasn’t really about whether He would leave or forsake me.  My modus operandi was to bolt long before that happened.  It was really about whether I could believe in my heart that I was who He called me, His.  How could I live up to that?  Did Gomer really believe that man of God called her wife despite who she was, love amongst the brethren being so conditional? Incidentally, I wonder how long it takes for someone to be transformed by love.  Did Hosea love Gomer or was he simply doing as God commanded?  We can certainly do what God says.  We can also do those things without love.  Jonah comes to mind in that respect.

There was a period of time when I felt like I was caving in under the weight of the world, er my world.  During the excavation process I had to face some difficult things about myself.  My constant prayer was to ask the Lord to remove from me anything that was not of Him; to create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10) I didn’t want to be a Gomer.  I wanted to go more for His sake and be who He says I am.

I had to trust that I was His.  I had to trust that I am all that He calls me and even who He called me to be.  Anything less than me fully trusting His Word– that it fully applies to me makes me a shacker-upper, a Gomer. He has accepted me.  Period.  Once I got that into my spirit I became less like Gomer and more like Mephibosheth sitting at the King’s table.  He has prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies, commitment issues, rejection issues, trust issues, etcetera.  What I needed to do was have a seat at the table He prepared and not excuse myself. 

I need not have to tell you when the Lord prepares the table it’s more like a smorgasbord of His goodness, mercy, justice, righteousness, love, peace and an abundance of everything your heart desires.  The price of admission has been paid for through the blood of the Lamb.  Accept Him. That is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, that He has paid for you and take a seat.

Stay seated by loving Him with all your heart, mind, and soul.  Kick up your heels by loving others as you love yourself. (Hint: LOVE YOURSELF).  Stay seated by seeking first the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness.  Stay seated by doing as He said, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you. REMEMBER He says, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Matthew 28:19-20.
And for goodness’ sake no more shackin’up!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Come Here!


It certainly has been a while since the Lord has dropped a word in my spirit until the point that I am severely agitated by it.  I’ve begun to miss those seasons of research and writing at all hours of the day and night.  I still write but not like I did in that particular season.

This time He not only gave me a word but a name, Lazarus.  I thought of the many different teachings I’ve heard on Lazarus over the past four years and what immediately penetrated my thoughts was the idea that dead things can be brought back to life.  Sure they can but knowing that didn’t help me appreciate why that name was bugging me so. 

As I write now I reflect upon the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  This very Lazarus was noted as a man whom Jesus loved.  He loved him yet waited two days before He went to see after him- while he was severely ill and, apparently, barely alive.  Man, that’s some kind of love.  But I can hardly blame Him.  Lazarus lived in Bethany and if the meaning of names are important, and they are, Bethany means house of affliction.  I also would have tarried two days, just saying.

The story of this particular Lazarus, there are two mentioned in the Bible, is preceded by one of my favorite stories about the disciples.  Didymus, or Thomas, was having a particularly good day and was willing to die with Jesus. (John 11:16)  Travel had already become dangerous for Jesus in those days as the Jews sought to stone Him. Maybe it’s because Didymus, called Thomas- doubting Thomas by some today, reminds me of myself.  That’s another story though.  Maybe it is this same story.  Am I willing to die with Jesus?  I take it we’re not talking baptism either.  Clearly the Lord had much to say to me with this name Lazarus. 

Jesus walked at great risk of bodily harm, i.e. being stoned, to see about someone that was already dead.  Maybe there’s a better story behind the other Lazarus.  This Lazarus is an imaginary person.  If you dare to look up the word Lazarus in Strong’s Greek Concordance you will eventually come to the word kakos and you will find the long definition states: bad, evil, in the widest sense.  If you dare to read further (I did) it states inner malice, inwardly foul, rotten, poisoned, figuratively inner malice flowing out of a morally rotten character. For further flourish in case I didn’t get the point it reads wickedness, inner evil.  Naturally I began to think, “Lord, You and I are having the wrong conversation.” Well? Let’s take a quick review.  Jesus risked His life to resurrect a dead man.  Jesus gave His life to save me, kakos.  It rather sounds like that word which refers to the dog business you scrape off your shoes if you step in it.  He and I were having one heavy conversation!

Luke 16:19-25 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day. And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, and desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; and in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.   And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.  But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.

Okay. So Lord I’m liking the direction this conversation is now headed.  You still have my attention; go on.  Wait, let me make sure I’ve got this down so far.  Lazarus, the beggar, the one laid out at the gate full of sores looking not for a buffet but crumbs, I’m sure he has no real friends save for the dogs licking his wounds, but isn’t it like dirty dogs to lick you when you’re down?  This guy… Lazarus gets comforted in the end.  Not just comforted but carried by angels into the bosom of Abraham?  That’s the word you gave me Lord, Lazarus?  Go on. Do tell!

Also one of the definitions affiliated with Lazarus in Strong’s Greek Concordance is the word parrĂ©sia: freedom, openness, especially in speech: boldness, confidence.  Browse a little further and you’ll find unreservedness in speech, without concealment, without ambiguity or circumlocution.  This I really needed to hear as lately I’ve been on the receiving end of such.

Strong’s Greek Concordance also affiliates the word deuro (dyoo’-ro) come, now, the present with Lazarus.  Come here!  Jesus yelled for Lazarus to come out from the tomb.  How very much like this Lazarus I had become; I was very nearly spiritually dead.  I hadn’t noticed I was entombed and a stone had been rolled in front of my purpose.  Interesting word this name Lazarus is.

Lazarus licked by dogs.  Lazarus called forth from the tomb.  Then there is me agitated by this word and now Didymus called Thomas who was willing to die with Jesus.  He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. (John 12:25)

Jesus walked at risk to His life of great harm to resurrect one who was already dead, by the time He arrived, six days.  Is not that much like the life of a present day disciple of Jesus Christ– dying to self, and through Jesus as enabled by the power of the Holy Spirit, saving those who are blinded by the God of this world, dead in their sins and very much like kakos? Am I willing to die with Him?  Well, there is this cross I take up daily if that counts.  Lazarus.  Jesus loved a man named Lazarus from the house of affliction.  What a friend we have in Jesus for real.

Back to Strong’s Greek Concordance and the word Lazarus.   The beauty of the word is shown in this definition, whom God helps.  I’m significantly less agitated by the word and find the comfort in it.  I find the peace of God in it.  Lazarus, whom God helps.  What an awesome God! Know that when Jesus yells for you to come out from the tomb, know that you, Lazarus are whom God helps.  And, yes, I will die with Him.

 If you read the full story about Lazarus of Bethany when the chief priests found out he was alive again they wanted to kill him! (John 12:9-11) How many folks are waiting to pounce on you once Jesus yells for you to come out from the tomb? Those were the chief priests back then.  Today it can be anybody.  Really answer the call and all hell will try to break loose.  It doesn’t stop you from being whom God helps, though, does it?

Father, God I praise you and thank you for raising me up from my sleep called spiritual death that resurrected You will be glorifid.  Thank You, Jesus, for not just risking your life but giving your life to save me from the kakos I was and being perfected in you.  Thank you for freedom, openness and boldness.  Mostly I thank You right now for yelling for me to come out from the tomb and allowing me to be whom God helps. What a great and mighty God You are and a loving Jesus who befriends the afflicted, calls them forth, gives them healing and rest.   I am in awe of You.  Again I praise You and thank You in the name of Jesus, amen. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Handmaiden's Prayer


Here I am, Father God, at your mercy living by Your grace and tender-loving kindness. I am but your humble servant, Lord, to do as you will.  Everything that I am I give to You.  All that I can be and will be I dedicate to You also.  You are every breath I breathe. I know full well that without You I am nothing.  I know that at any given moment I can return to the dust from which I was created.  From my mother’s womb You called me by name and predestinated me to be a sword, a fiery brand, the meaning of my name. I carry the sword of the Spirit and etched in my heart is your Word.  My purpose is to make Your name great.  My purpose is to protect Your Word.  My Purpose is to publish Your Word and that I will do being confident of this very thing, that You who has begun a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.  I vow on this day that good work will be to minister to You until the day of Jesus Christ.  I am your handmaiden, your bondwoman and all I do is towards you my God, my Savior, my King.  I bless Your holy name and continually praise you in my heart and spirit. I endeavor to remain ever mindful that all the honor and glory is yours and yours alone. There is none that is higher or beside You.  It is You alone that I worship and adore.  You brought me up from the ashes and dung heap and took my rejection and gave me acceptance.  Through the death and resurrection of your precious only begotten Son, Jesus, You gave me salvation and give me peace.  For that I am eternally grateful.  I pray these and all things in the name of Jesus. Amen.