Come Here!

It certainly has been a while since the Lord has dropped a word in my spirit until the point that I am severely agitated by it.  I’ve begun to miss those seasons of research and writing at all hours of the day and night.  I still write but not like I did in that particular season.

This time He not only gave me a word but a name, Lazarus.  I thought of the many different teachings I’ve heard on Lazarus over the past four years and what immediately penetrated my thoughts was the idea that dead things can be brought back to life.  Sure they can but knowing that didn’t help me appreciate why that name was bugging me so. 

As I write now I reflect upon the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  This very Lazarus was noted as a man whom Jesus loved.  He loved him yet waited two days before He went to see after him- while he was severely ill and, apparently, barely alive.  Man, that’s some kind of love.  But I can hardly blame Him.  Lazarus lived in Bethany and if the meaning of names are important, and they are, Bethany means house of affliction.  I also would have tarried two days, just saying.

The story of this particular Lazarus, there are two mentioned in the Bible, is preceded by one of my favorite stories about the disciples.  Didymus, or Thomas, was having a particularly good day and was willing to die with Jesus. (John 11:16)  Travel had already become dangerous for Jesus in those days as the Jews sought to stone Him. Maybe it’s because Didymus, called Thomas- doubting Thomas by some today, reminds me of myself.  That’s another story though.  Maybe it is this same story.  Am I willing to die with Jesus?  I take it we’re not talking baptism either.  Clearly the Lord had much to say to me with this name Lazarus. 

Jesus walked at great risk of bodily harm, i.e. being stoned, to see about someone that was already dead.  Maybe there’s a better story behind the other Lazarus.  This Lazarus is an imaginary person.  If you dare to look up the word Lazarus in Strong’s Greek Concordance you will eventually come to the word kakos and you will find the long definition states: bad, evil, in the widest sense.  If you dare to read further (I did) it states inner malice, inwardly foul, rotten, poisoned, figuratively inner malice flowing out of a morally rotten character. For further flourish in case I didn’t get the point it reads wickedness, inner evil.  Naturally I began to think, “Lord, You and I are having the wrong conversation.” Well? Let’s take a quick review.  Jesus risked His life to resurrect a dead man.  Jesus gave His life to save me, kakos.  It rather sounds like that word which refers to the dog business you scrape off your shoes if you step in it.  He and I were having one heavy conversation!

Luke 16:19-25 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day. And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, and desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; and in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.   And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.  But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.

Okay. So Lord I’m liking the direction this conversation is now headed.  You still have my attention; go on.  Wait, let me make sure I’ve got this down so far.  Lazarus, the beggar, the one laid out at the gate full of sores looking not for a buffet but crumbs, I’m sure he has no real friends save for the dogs licking his wounds, but isn’t it like dirty dogs to lick you when you’re down?  This guy… Lazarus gets comforted in the end.  Not just comforted but carried by angels into the bosom of Abraham?  That’s the word you gave me Lord, Lazarus?  Go on. Do tell!

Also one of the definitions affiliated with Lazarus in Strong’s Greek Concordance is the word parrésia: freedom, openness, especially in speech: boldness, confidence.  Browse a little further and you’ll find unreservedness in speech, without concealment, without ambiguity or circumlocution.  This I really needed to hear as lately I’ve been on the receiving end of such.

Strong’s Greek Concordance also affiliates the word deuro (dyoo’-ro) come, now, the present with Lazarus.  Come here!  Jesus yelled for Lazarus to come out from the tomb.  How very much like this Lazarus I had become; I was very nearly spiritually dead.  I hadn’t noticed I was entombed and a stone had been rolled in front of my purpose.  Interesting word this name Lazarus is.

Lazarus licked by dogs.  Lazarus called forth from the tomb.  Then there is me agitated by this word and now Didymus called Thomas who was willing to die with Jesus.  He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. (John 12:25)

Jesus walked at risk to His life of great harm to resurrect one who was already dead, by the time He arrived, six days.  Is not that much like the life of a present day disciple of Jesus Christ– dying to self, and through Jesus as enabled by the power of the Holy Spirit, saving those who are blinded by the God of this world, dead in their sins and very much like kakos? Am I willing to die with Him?  Well, there is this cross I take up daily if that counts.  Lazarus.  Jesus loved a man named Lazarus from the house of affliction.  What a friend we have in Jesus for real.

Back to Strong’s Greek Concordance and the word Lazarus.   The beauty of the word is shown in this definition, whom God helps.  I’m significantly less agitated by the word and find the comfort in it.  I find the peace of God in it.  Lazarus, whom God helps.  What an awesome God! Know that when Jesus yells for you to come out from the tomb, know that you, Lazarus are whom God helps.  And, yes, I will die with Him.

 If you read the full story about Lazarus of Bethany when the chief priests found out he was alive again they wanted to kill him! (John 12:9-11) How many folks are waiting to pounce on you once Jesus yells for you to come out from the tomb? Those were the chief priests back then.  Today it can be anybody.  Really answer the call and all hell will try to break loose.  It doesn’t stop you from being whom God helps, though, does it?

Father, God I praise you and thank you for raising me up from my sleep called spiritual death that resurrected You will be glorifid.  Thank You, Jesus, for not just risking your life but giving your life to save me from the kakos I was and being perfected in you.  Thank you for freedom, openness and boldness.  Mostly I thank You right now for yelling for me to come out from the tomb and allowing me to be whom God helps. What a great and mighty God You are and a loving Jesus who befriends the afflicted, calls them forth, gives them healing and rest.   I am in awe of You.  Again I praise You and thank You in the name of Jesus, amen. 

The Handmaiden's Prayer

Here I am, Father God, at your mercy living by Your grace and tender-loving kindness. I am but your humble servant, Lord, to do as you will.  Everything that I am I give to You.  All that I can be and will be I dedicate to You also.  You are every breath I breathe. I know full well that without You I am nothing.  I know that at any given moment I can return to the dust from which I was created.  From my mother’s womb You called me by name and predestinated me to be a sword, a fiery brand, the meaning of my name. I carry the sword of the Spirit and etched in my heart is your Word.  My purpose is to make Your name great.  My purpose is to protect Your Word.  My Purpose is to publish Your Word and that I will do being confident of this very thing, that You who has begun a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.  I vow on this day that good work will be to minister to You until the day of Jesus Christ.  I am your handmaiden, your bondwoman and all I do is towards you my God, my Savior, my King.  I bless Your holy name and continually praise you in my heart and spirit. I endeavor to remain ever mindful that all the honor and glory is yours and yours alone. There is none that is higher or beside You.  It is You alone that I worship and adore.  You brought me up from the ashes and dung heap and took my rejection and gave me acceptance.  Through the death and resurrection of your precious only begotten Son, Jesus, You gave me salvation and give me peace.  For that I am eternally grateful.  I pray these and all things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Hannah, Hannah Mo' Manah

I don’t know about you but I’ve long admired those who have boldly stepped out on faith and begun living out their purpose.  You probably know the very same people.  They’re the ones pregnant with purpose and every time you see them they’ve just delivered another baby, er um, project, ministry, church, traveling the world... (You get the picture)

You may even be the one right by their side helping to get those projects off the ground supporting them in any way possible.  And that is great but then your adversary, which is yourself, taunts you and begins to cry out before the Lord asking, “When, God, when will I deliver? Impregnate me with your will and my purpose that I may deliver also!” 

Anybody ever been a bridesmaid multiple times but never walked down the aisle to meet your own groom at the altar?  Or if you’re a male, stood at the altar waiting for your bride?  I mean, someone else’s wedding is great and you’re genuinely happy for all those friends now brides or grooms, but you still want a ring on your finger that states, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)  Let’s be clear, this is not a coveting issue.  It is a ‘what does God have for me’ issue. It’s a called out, set apart, predestinated for what issue. 

In days long past there was a man named Elkanah.  Elkanah had two wives Peninnah, who had given him sons and daughters, and Hannah whose womb God had shut.  Elkanah loved Hannah and treated her well.  Still she was unhappy because what she wanted most in life she was unable to produce, a son.  Additionally, it didn’t help to have Peninnah around constantly reminding and bugging her about not having children of her own.  1 Samuel chapter one is where you’ll find their story.  If you take a look at verse eight you will see that, of the two wives, Hannah was the favored one.  That didn’t amount to a hill of beans to Hannah.  She wanted a son. 

There’s likely a hundred and one reasons why your project hasn’t yet seen the light of day maybe one day we’ll meet and compare lists.  Back to Hannah, though.  And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head.  (1 Samuel 1:11) If you are familiar with the story, the LORD does give Hannah a son and she does honor her vow. 

Lord if you will just let me hit the lottery I promise you I will tithe.  Lord if all the lights miraculously turn green I promise to leave earlier next time so I can get there on time.  Lord if you let me pass this test I promise to study next time.  Lord if this next project gets off the ground I promise I will use it to glorify You and not try again to make a name for myself. I promise to be a good steward of its success.  I promise, I promise.    

How about promising not to take the Lord’s name in vain and truly dedicating your work for God’s glory?  Maybe you have walked down the aisle a few times but jilted the Lord at the altar.  Lord knows I’ve down it.  There’s nothing like fear to call off a wedding.  Talk about runaway brides!  Unbelief is another deal breaker.  Oh, and pride.  Let’s not forget the ungodly pride that sneaks into a job well done.  We’re human right? 

Hannah referred to herself as God’s handmaid.  Which is defined as a female servant.  Servant is the key word here.  It is a subservient partner or element.  Now, are you truly a subservient partner with God? Am I?  Perhaps.

The same word, if you look in Strong’s Hebrew Concordance, is shiphchah; towards God, bondwoman.  Are your actions really towards God or towards yourself?  Do they glorify God or benefit yourself?  Hannah honored her vow.  Her son, Samuel, was wholly given over towards God.  She fulfilled the purpose God had for her through honoring her vow.  In return God increased her portion, her manah. 

You see, every year when Elkanah went to worship and sacrifice to God he gave each wife and each child a portion of meat.  Before bearing children Hannah received a double portion. Hannah honored her vow and God gave her three sons and two daughters– increasing her portion.  In so doing He also relieved her of the relentless taunting from Peninnah and gave her honor.  Got any naysayers? 

In the book “Ancient Israel: Its Life and Instructions” by Roland De Vaux he writes “to have many children was a coveted honor” and “the Israelites wanted mainly sons to perpetuate the family line and fortune and to preserve the ancestral inheritance.”  Barren women were the objects of ridicule.  Today is different; still, we have the command to be fruitful and multiply.

 

 

Matthew 25:21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.  Hannah was found to be a good and faithful servant and the Lord honored her.  We must remember that we are servants first, least in the kingdom.  Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt should be our meditation with projects intent to carry on Christ’s work.  The beginning of fruitfulness is a state of brokenness before the Lord.  He can impregnate our brokenness and fill it with purpose, fruitfulness and lots of babies– er um projects, ministries, churches, traveling the world…  (You get the picture.)

 

Who Done It?

You know, in class I've listened to more than a few evangelists speak on how many people they've led to Christ. When I think of it I say to myself, "Wow, that's amazing!" And then my old friend from high school told me she credits herself for being the reason I'm in church today and in my mind I was like, "Hold up partner!"

Imagine that. It seems a silly thing but  it bugged me. I'm all for giving credit where credit is due, or am I?

Truth is I've always credited my fourth grade teacher for me being a Christian. She, Miss Kabayashi, would take me to church with her and is responsible for me getting baptized. Since then it has taken a LOT of Pauls and Apollos' planting and watering to get me back on track. 

Why should that be a touchy subject anyway? Instead of saying thank you and rejoicing my inclination was "Oh, no you didn't!" Lord help meh! 

At this point I can only thank God for sending so many people my way to break through the wall I had built up around myself that didn't trust many people and thereby not really trusting Him.

My friend did try. Her church just wasn't the place for me. I can love her for the effort AND give her credit. Today I will be with her as she lays her oldest sister to rest.  For sure there are mixed 

emotions about that- I can't even imagine saying so long to a sibling. What a day...

1 Corinthians 3:3-11 KJV

[3] For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? [4] For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal? [5] Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? [6] I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. [7] So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. [8] Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. [9] For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building. [10] According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. [11] For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Weighty Issues

Can we agree that some things are just uncomfortable to hear?  Despite the fact that we in the United States of America celebrate freedom of speech there are some things we simply don’t want to hear.  Connect freedom of speech with freedom of religion and folk certainly don’t want to hear about that.  Speak the name Jesus to someone and see what kind of free speech that generates!  The words Bible thumper, Jesus freak, zealot, and even fool comes to mind.  Mention Jesus and people get all weird on you, right?

There’s this wonderful person I know, I’ll call her Anna.  She and I hang out occasionally.  On some of those occasions Anna likes to talk about plus size fashion.  Mind you, Anna may be a size 4 after a bowl of ice cream.  I, on the other hand, am plus size times two if I even look at a bowl of ice cream.  Generally I don’t mind hearing about plus size fashion but Anna makes it seem like it shouldn’t exist in the first place.  I can’t lie; there is a certain level of discomfort listening to Anna talk about plus size fashion.  After one of those occasional listening sessions I wished I had never looked at a bowl of ice cream let alone be introduced to it.  I promise you there is a point to this conversation.

When we, as believers, exercise our freedom to speak of Jesus to others we should be mindful to do it in love.  (Probably Anna had a little passive aggression going on being upset over the fact that I not only look at bowls of ice cream but partake of them frequently while she religiously abstains from said pleasure.)  We should not speak of Jesus in such a way that the person hearing the message does not feel uncomfortable and sorry for the introduction to Christ.  He is the Good News of the Gospel, right?

Plus sized persons know they are plus sized.  Sinners, for the most part, know they are sinning.  What they are not likely to know and need to understand through you as a witness is the love of Jesus.  Really, if they are as good at sinning as I am at being plus sized (doggone ice cream), then they, like I, have experienced judgment in more ways than one.  There is a fine line between being helpful and hurtful and as we freely speak Jesus into the lives of others we are to be the Jesus kind of helpful. 

In John 4 when Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman He did so in such a way that she did not feel shameful.  He didn’t approach her wearing His crown and glory, thus He drew her in.  His way is proven and affects people positively.  It is worth mentioning also that Jews and Samaritans didn’t normally associate with one another.  As you go forth and witness you will encounter people you would not normally associate with. 

Surely one of the reasons people tend to get uncomfortable hearing “Christians” speak Jesus is they approach them wearing their crown and glory and not in a good way.  They are haughty and portray a “holier than thou demeanor” swinging their “ministry” like a two-edged sword rightly dividing souls into pieces.  All for the glory of whom?  Allow Christ to be perceived in you by those the Holy Spirit leads you to connect with.

When the adulterous woman was brought before Jesus to be stoned He instead freed her. (John 8:1-11)  Do you truly speak Jesus to people or do they hear stones rattling in your pockets?  For God so loved the world… (John 3:16)  We need to so love them as well.  In that way, which is the way of Jesus, when we freely speak Jesus into the lives of those whom He is trying to reach they will freely receive the gift. 

Our words and attitude should not cause such discomfort as if to say “Hey adulterer! Come hear the Good News’ or “Thou harlot come hither and cease your harlotry (because I would NEVER do such a thing.) Come let me tell you what Jesus has done for ME.” We are to do our part only, which is be a witness.  Even Jesus allowed for the scribes and Pharisees to be convicted by their own consciences. (John 8:9)  We should follow His example and leave room for Holy Spirit to do His work.

Jesus did not ignore the Samaritan woman’s lifestyle– He told her the truth and was not off putting about it.  Because of His way of ministry she brought others to Him as well and many believed.  His is the model of love-centric ministry.  Jesus in you is an attraction; not a repellant.  (John 4:1-43) Go forth!  Speak freely proclaiming Jesus, His righteousness and kingdom.  

 

 

The Storm

I was on a small vessel sailing on the waters of my life.  I wish I could tell you it was smooth sailing but I was being tossed to and fro and carried by winds great and small.  Though the winds were howling and sometimes frightening and the seas tempestuous I stayed in that vessel hoping to one day find calm. 

Not only was there no calm to be found but the vessel began to take on water.  The devil had my ear, if not my life, and I had his.  Together we commiserated in my misery.  The water inside the vessel began to rise quickly.  I wanted to escape but I was still within earshot of the father of lies.  My life raft, called false sense of security, detached in the fracas while I was caught unawares.  The air in the vessel had become increasingly oppressive and I found it difficult to breathe.

I didn’t want to die in that vessel respiring stagnant air and opted instead to face the violent winds and colossal waves.  Bows under I merely stepped into the sea thinking I would drown but hoping a passing ship would somehow rescue me.  Under water the lies became muffled, distorted and utterly incoherent. 

Much to my surprise I wasn’t drowning.  Instead of a sense of panic there was peace.  I was overcome with it and though my mind could not comprehend what was happening, my heart and spirit were overtaken by a comforting flow. There was this phenomenon of life giving water flowing through me and yet pouring into me. I wasn’t sinking in the sea, rather, I was beginning to rise. 

There was a Voice clearly speaking to me and as I responded affirmatively to the Voice I rose up even further.  The more I listened and responded the higher up I rose until I broke through the surface.   There was no passing ship waiting for me but a mighty God in the person of Jesus standing upon the now stilled waters.  The no longer rebellious winds were transformed into a refreshing Holy Spirit wind.  Jesus was bidding me to come. 

And there we were– Jesus and I standing on the water.  Only He dared to walk upon the stormy waters of my life to save me from the darkness of lies.  He alone dared to save me from myself.  Many times I had tried to calm the storm on my own thinking Jesus would never accept me as I was; people didn’t.  Not only did He accept me but He did so while I was in the midst of my storm.  He showed up when no one else would or could and called me His. (Romans 8:30, Acts 17:28-29)  I answered His call and He stilled the tempest. 

He still calls out to me and speaks to me.  His voice is the balm that soothes rejection and casts out fear. (Matthew 10:31)  I am not burdensome to Him.  In fact, He took my burdens. (Matthew 11:28)  I couldn’t bear my life alone.  Confessing my sins and accepting Him as Lord of my life and Savior I don’t have to. 

Because of Him I am set free to share the Gospel of the Good News, the kingdom of heaven is here now, present and to come.   It is accessible to all who seek Him with repentant hearts.  Surely broken hearts have a place in Him where there is healing, power, and rest.

Those Ancient Israelites and I

I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve read, heard, or talked about the ancient Israelites being delivered from Egypt and all of the amazing miracles God performed on their behalf. They who, miracle after miracle, proceeded to turn their backs on God time after time with their murmurings and carnal desires.  What idiots, right?  He was a pillar of a cloud with them in the daytime and a pillar of fire with them at night and still they murmured.  When they complained of hunger they wanted to return to the bondage of Egypt but God, hearing their cries, gave to them freely the food of angels, manna. (Exodus 16:4, Psalm 78:24-25)

Their most boisterous complaint, in my opinion, was demonstrated when they tired of waiting on God and built a golden ram to worship.  Yes, they’re still idiots.  The nerve of a chosen people getting tired of waiting on God!  I thought to myself what foolishness!  How can they do such things when God was visible to them? They could hear His voice as an exceeding loud trumpet for goodness’ sake! (Exodus 19:16) Still they rebelled.  Did I say the word idiots? Yes, twice already.  So you’re getting the picture of how they behaved in general and their attitude specifically, stiff-necked is what they were called back then. 

One sunny and beautiful Southern California day I found myself to be wallowing in the pit of misery that was me and, oh, so very woeful.  I was thinking about the state of my affairs and wondering why I wasn’t by now living the victorious life as a matter of habit rather than wishful thinking.  I was regretting that I was no longer working at that job where, surely the manager hated me, but it was the means for me to better take care of myself and my family.  Working there I wasn’t so… dependent.  I was surviving but barely really.  I was definitely miserable but I wasn’t whatever this is.  I kept crying out to God and endeavored to know Him in a deeper more personal way because what I was doing obviously was not working.  In many ways my life, indeed, was failing but I dared not settle for failure.  Not as a child of the most-high God! What would my family and friends think, right?   Some kind of Christian you are comes to mind.  I determined to scrap everything I was presently doing to start over and earnestly pursue God differently and also my purpose differently.  I was still miserable and in the pits but still in pursuit.     

Somewhere in the middle of my utterly gut-wrenching, heartbreaking me-ness reverie that included violins and harps, I heard Holy Spirit say, “About those Israelites…” I could swear there was a mirror right in front of my face, too, when He said it.  There was.  It was the Psalm 78 mirror.  I read, rather, saw that I was no different than they were.  In Psalm 78 you can read about what God did for the Israelites, how they responded to His works, and God’s reaction to their response.  I saw myself there in the text rebellious and murmuring.  Did I hear you say idiot?  Yes, that was I. Busted in all of my Pharisaical shame.  I was so wrapped up into myself I was squeezing God out of my life much as I’d like to think I was holding on to Him.  Surely He was working miracles in my life and I was experiencing His profound mercy and blessings but I could not see my way out of the pits. You know? The fact that He was still communicating with me was miraculous the way I see it. 

Physically I was out there but in my mind I had withdrawn. I was just going through the motions.  I was drowning in despair but couldn’t think of anyone to turn to but God.  Hey, I feel defeated is not the usual conversation starter but it’s one I’m sure more people wish would be.  To be honest it was a homework assignment that led me to read Psalm 78.  That’s what helped me snap out of it.  Well, that and crying out to God for mercy.  The timing of that assignment, I know, was God’s response to me constantly calling out to Him from my misery pit.  I didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of being a burden to anyone, who, like me was bearing their own.  Mind you there is scriptural justification towards bearing one another’s burdens, Galatians 6:2.  It’s something believers should do more of.  I believe this season specifically was part of my maturation process.   It is a solo flight, if you will.  How to trust God for yourself is an ongoing lesson and one I needed a refresher course in.

As I read the Psalm 78 text I felt such shame that I could so easily be like the ancient Israelites by murmuring so.  I was sick of myself but could not stop it.  Yes, parts of my life were failing but murmuring, which is really not trusting God, was opening the door to other types of failure mentality: fear, doubt, insecurity, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, and paranoia.  I didn’t build a golden calf but I had me.  My ego was my idol and to worship it all I had to do was murmur, complain and wallow in self-pity.  Unlike the Israelites, though, I was spared His wrath.  That little episode of facing the mirror led me to repentance.  Don’t take lightly the gift of repentance.     2Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.  The land, my life, was in desperate need of healing. 

It’s one thing to know the scriptures and, to tell you the truth if you’re not careful they can become like Christianese or the believer’s version of being politically correct.  Quite another thing is becoming the scriptures by your actions.  I was weighed and found wanting.  (Daniel 5:27)  Truly that’s what it’s all about.  We all live the scriptures whether we are believers or not.   Somewhere in the text there is a verse holding up a mirror to your face.  That is if you are honest with yourself.  If you are honest you will judge yourself. Incidentally I’ve been having planks removed from my eyes.  Holy Spirit makes for an excellent ophthalmologic surgeon; trust and believe He is. I mean, He’ll even let you hold onto the mirror and watch while He works.  

I had a choice to make.  I could either be the bad end of a parable or I could be a disciple.  I am choosing discipleship.  In so doing, I choose to believe the Spirit of God dwells in me.  In me there is a pillar of a cloud in the daytime and in the darkness He is a pillar of fire within me.  I choose to believe that He will never leave or forsake me; He is with me always (Matthew 28:20) I choose to act like I believe it in my ways but especially the ways of my thoughts.  I choose to do as He has commanded all believers to do. (Matthew 28:19-20)  Blessed are they that do his commandments that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city. (Revelation 22:14)  I also choose not to be an idiot by numbering my imperfections, failures, but rather choose knowing I am perfected in Christ.  So, yes, that misery pit that I dug myself into, even that pit in my spirit, they have been sufficiently filled with Christ.  (John 16:33, I John 4:4)

And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2Corinthians 12:9