Because I Don't Know What Else to Say (He Said Enough)

I'm not sure if I discovered it on my own or heard it somewhere but as soon as we are born the slow process of dying begins. As I write I liken it to being a new car that depreciates in value as soon as it's driven off the lot. As soon as it bursts forth from the womb human life is similarly devalued. That newborn sweetness wears off as the 2,3,4 a.m. feedings run the course of a seemingly endless cycle.  When you realize said cycle has ended you are diving into the deep end of the terrible twos and threes. The word "no" is a vocabulary staple of the parent and the parented.

As a parent and because the world is the way it is my mother still expresses to me her concern for my safety though I am well past the terrible twos and threes. I'm much like the terrible fifty-twos and fifty-threes. I said like but who's counting?

You know how mothers are. To them the value of their child's life never depreciates rather it is appreciated and continuously appreciates. I reassure her that I will not die a moment before my time. You also know how children are- invincible at any age. That is until they are not.

It would seem obvious that in light of recent media events, death would be heavily on my mind. Death is always on my mind. Perhaps that's the poet in me. Perhaps it's the ever looming truth. I am going to die. Period. I know I am going to die at the time appointed for me to do so. What I don't know is how or when. God alone knows the details. But then again we have become as gods having obtained the knowledge of good and evil and the power to take away life. We have come to exercise that power quite unashamedly and very liberally. We are a nation of Quick Draw McGraws in human forms.

I have become comfortable with my impending death despite my apparent lack of preparation for it. What I am quite uncomfortable with is the death of others. Not only am I faced with the thought of my own death but the death of others has become grossly unavoidable. Ok, that's nothing new. The deaths of others have become grossly publicized and therefore unavoidable. I have seen a person choked out and bled out as if I were on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse. (Surely the treatment is better there.) But, no, it's Any Street in Anytown, USA.

Somewhere there are mothers crying- a lot of somewheres and a LOT of mothers crying. If a person appreciated the life of the child in the same way that mother did that person would explain to that crying mother why they devalued that life so much they ended it. Whether planned out meticulously or on an anxiety driven whim they would explain WHY. I killed your child because... There would be no press conference or CSI teams searching for a motive- just the life taker, the mother and the why. That person would own up to, what, their mistake, revenge, unadulterated evil? There would be no contrived press release or politically correct statement just the truth, I don't love you.

I love whom I love and they love me. They are my family and friends and outside of that tightly knit circle I have no more love to give. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I don't even care about you. All lives don't matter; just those I love. Your child is dead. Deal with it. It was not my intention to have the death published but that's the antisocial media information age we live in. The world knows/watched your child die and soon enough another will take his/her place despite protests, marches, memorials, bagpipes and 21 gun salutes...

I understand better now why there are those who refuse to believe Jesus existed or exists. Besides the fact that the letter "j" isn't part of the Hebrew nomenclature there's the perturbation of his doctrine,  "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44) Ah, the good old days when it sufficed to love only those who loved you and hate those who didn't. Wait, today is the good old days!

A scribe asked Jesus which is the first of all commandments. Jesus responded with not just the first of all commandments but also told him the second "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." He then added, "There is none other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:31) The challenge is we cannot fulfill the first commandment- love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength without first fulfilling the second. You see? Perturbing! If I don't love you, neighbor, there is no way in hell, earth, heaven that I love God.  In the span of time and space that one is either policing or being policed they are neighbors.  Admittedly there is a challenge to like one another let alone love.

Jesus must have been out of his mind to think that folk could love their neighbors. He must have been radical! Maybe those kinds of "radical" thoughts were better suited for the first century and not the twenty-first century. Yes, it is definitely better to disavow Jesus and his words than dare to live up to them.

Soon the dust will settle and we will each return  to our individual slow process of dying. We will resume/ presume a sense of normalcy rather than truly living and living for one another. That is until "there is a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not." (Matthew 2:18)