My daughter and I went to the Montclair Plaza to look for a place to get the screen of her cell phone replaced. During the estimated 45 minute wait time we went to the Sweet Factory. You know how when you're trying to break a sugar habit ALL you want is sugar? Yes, so it was the sour cherry balls I was looking for. At $12.99/lb you KNOW I was sure not to go overboard.
Afterward we walked down to Barnes and Noble and AMAZINGLY I did not buy another journal or any other stationary item that is generally hard for me to resist especially being half price. So my conscience, Brenae, was there "to tell me no." Vibe killer. I walked over to the Christian section to peruse the titles. I told her I needed a Talmud; she said I had enough Christian books. I argued that it was Jewish but she was serious about the vibe killing business- and effective. Forlorn, I suggested we walk back to where we dropped off the cell phone, grab some Starbucks and then find a table facing the booth so we can stare at the repairman to see if that would encourage him to hurry.
At Starbucks we placed our order- I had to get jiggy wit it and order an Italian soda which the barrista had no clue about but was willing. Brenae ordered her standard menu item, I paid; we waited... and waited as they called out other people's drinks and placed them on the counter. They called again for two abandoned caramel macchiatos... Who orders and neglects their Starbucks? I mean, this is a rare treat for me so... how can someone leave them there looking all sad and abandoned?
Finally some brave souls walked up to, wait a minute, not claim them but say they're the wrong drinks. Inside I gasped a little. Not only were the being abandoned but outright rejected! A brief discussion commences over the matter and a woman using the assistance of a wheelchair turns to Brenae and me and asks if we want them. We start to decline but she insists that we can find someone that may need the two abandoned "upside down" caramel macchiatos. Uh, sure! We take the drinks and seats inside the store and waited for our order.
Not long after the woman walked out with the correct drink and we all lived happily ever after. That is until I heard the Holy Spirit say go pray for her. You know the weirdest things cross your mind when that happens- all at once too! Then there's that sobering internal alarm that asks "you're telling Him no?" Then you do tha sheepish (stupid) Will Smith thing as if to say "Uncle Phil you know I was just playing." I told Brenae to watch my purse and then bolted outta there.
I asked the woman if she would mind if I prayed for her. Not only did she not mind but her face lit up. She introduced herself as Deirdre and told me she was battling Lupus and recently had a back surgery. She told me how sweet it was that I would do such a thing and told me I smiled the whole time I was in the Starbucks... She told me that it was no coincidence that we were there at that time- that she and her daughter weren't supposed to be there... So there we were at the Montclair Plaza calling on God for her healing and thanking Him for it; declaring it.
On any given day I can think of at least a thousand things that I'm not, or even who I am not. Today, I wish I could say I was willing. That would be an awesome tale to tell. The truth is God was willing. 'Nuff said.
I was listening to the gospels of Mark and Luke in particular Mark 13:11 ... take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye: for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost.
I had no clue what I was going to say to that woman when I was having my internal conversation with Holy Spirit. I didn't need to. Like I said HE was willing. Looking back when He is willing you don't have much of a choice save for get with the program. I mean, there's a choice. The incorrect one has consequences. I didn't know what the Lord had in mind but what if I had continued to sit there at Starbucks waiting for my Italian soda as if I didn't hear what I heard or second guessed it?
Oh, yes, the cell phone! The man at the booth told Brenae and the woman ahead of us the same time- 45 minutes. At the time we dropped it off I wondered how he could promise both at the same time. I decided to check on it early but when I saw the woman that was ahead of us sitting at a table still waiting I was briefly hesitant. I still went to check on it and, voilà, it was ready! Been ready!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
Romans 8:19
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Because I Don't Know What Else to Say (He Said Enough)
I'm not sure if I discovered it on my own or heard it somewhere but as soon as we are born the slow process of dying begins. As I write I liken it to being a new car that depreciates in value as soon as it's driven off the lot. As soon as it bursts forth from the womb human life is similarly devalued. That newborn sweetness wears off as the 2,3,4 a.m. feedings run the course of a seemingly endless cycle. When you realize said cycle has ended you are diving into the deep end of the terrible twos and threes. The word "no" is a vocabulary staple of the parent and the parented.
As a parent and because the world is the way it is my mother still expresses to me her concern for my safety though I am well past the terrible twos and threes. I'm much like the terrible fifty-twos and fifty-threes. I said like but who's counting?
You know how mothers are. To them the value of their child's life never depreciates rather it is appreciated and continuously appreciates. I reassure her that I will not die a moment before my time. You also know how children are- invincible at any age. That is until they are not.
It would seem obvious that in light of recent media events, death would be heavily on my mind. Death is always on my mind. Perhaps that's the poet in me. Perhaps it's the ever looming truth. I am going to die. Period. I know I am going to die at the time appointed for me to do so. What I don't know is how or when. God alone knows the details. But then again we have become as gods having obtained the knowledge of good and evil and the power to take away life. We have come to exercise that power quite unashamedly and very liberally. We are a nation of Quick Draw McGraws in human forms.
I have become comfortable with my impending death despite my apparent lack of preparation for it. What I am quite uncomfortable with is the death of others. Not only am I faced with the thought of my own death but the death of others has become grossly unavoidable. Ok, that's nothing new. The deaths of others have become grossly publicized and therefore unavoidable. I have seen a person choked out and bled out as if I were on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse. (Surely the treatment is better there.) But, no, it's Any Street in Anytown, USA.
Somewhere there are mothers crying- a lot of somewheres and a LOT of mothers crying. If a person appreciated the life of the child in the same way that mother did that person would explain to that crying mother why they devalued that life so much they ended it. Whether planned out meticulously or on an anxiety driven whim they would explain WHY. I killed your child because... There would be no press conference or CSI teams searching for a motive- just the life taker, the mother and the why. That person would own up to, what, their mistake, revenge, unadulterated evil? There would be no contrived press release or politically correct statement just the truth, I don't love you.
I love whom I love and they love me. They are my family and friends and outside of that tightly knit circle I have no more love to give. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I don't even care about you. All lives don't matter; just those I love. Your child is dead. Deal with it. It was not my intention to have the death published but that's the antisocial media information age we live in. The world knows/watched your child die and soon enough another will take his/her place despite protests, marches, memorials, bagpipes and 21 gun salutes...
I understand better now why there are those who refuse to believe Jesus existed or exists. Besides the fact that the letter "j" isn't part of the Hebrew nomenclature there's the perturbation of his doctrine, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44) Ah, the good old days when it sufficed to love only those who loved you and hate those who didn't. Wait, today is the good old days!
A scribe asked Jesus which is the first of all commandments. Jesus responded with not just the first of all commandments but also told him the second "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." He then added, "There is none other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:31) The challenge is we cannot fulfill the first commandment- love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength without first fulfilling the second. You see? Perturbing! If I don't love you, neighbor, there is no way in hell, earth, heaven that I love God. In the span of time and space that one is either policing or being policed they are neighbors. Admittedly there is a challenge to like one another let alone love.
Jesus must have been out of his mind to think that folk could love their neighbors. He must have been radical! Maybe those kinds of "radical" thoughts were better suited for the first century and not the twenty-first century. Yes, it is definitely better to disavow Jesus and his words than dare to live up to them.
Soon the dust will settle and we will each return to our individual slow process of dying. We will resume/ presume a sense of normalcy rather than truly living and living for one another. That is until "there is a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not." (Matthew 2:18)
As a parent and because the world is the way it is my mother still expresses to me her concern for my safety though I am well past the terrible twos and threes. I'm much like the terrible fifty-twos and fifty-threes. I said like but who's counting?
You know how mothers are. To them the value of their child's life never depreciates rather it is appreciated and continuously appreciates. I reassure her that I will not die a moment before my time. You also know how children are- invincible at any age. That is until they are not.
It would seem obvious that in light of recent media events, death would be heavily on my mind. Death is always on my mind. Perhaps that's the poet in me. Perhaps it's the ever looming truth. I am going to die. Period. I know I am going to die at the time appointed for me to do so. What I don't know is how or when. God alone knows the details. But then again we have become as gods having obtained the knowledge of good and evil and the power to take away life. We have come to exercise that power quite unashamedly and very liberally. We are a nation of Quick Draw McGraws in human forms.
I have become comfortable with my impending death despite my apparent lack of preparation for it. What I am quite uncomfortable with is the death of others. Not only am I faced with the thought of my own death but the death of others has become grossly unavoidable. Ok, that's nothing new. The deaths of others have become grossly publicized and therefore unavoidable. I have seen a person choked out and bled out as if I were on a field trip to the local slaughterhouse. (Surely the treatment is better there.) But, no, it's Any Street in Anytown, USA.
Somewhere there are mothers crying- a lot of somewheres and a LOT of mothers crying. If a person appreciated the life of the child in the same way that mother did that person would explain to that crying mother why they devalued that life so much they ended it. Whether planned out meticulously or on an anxiety driven whim they would explain WHY. I killed your child because... There would be no press conference or CSI teams searching for a motive- just the life taker, the mother and the why. That person would own up to, what, their mistake, revenge, unadulterated evil? There would be no contrived press release or politically correct statement just the truth, I don't love you.
I love whom I love and they love me. They are my family and friends and outside of that tightly knit circle I have no more love to give. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I don't even care about you. All lives don't matter; just those I love. Your child is dead. Deal with it. It was not my intention to have the death published but that's the antisocial media information age we live in. The world knows/watched your child die and soon enough another will take his/her place despite protests, marches, memorials, bagpipes and 21 gun salutes...
I understand better now why there are those who refuse to believe Jesus existed or exists. Besides the fact that the letter "j" isn't part of the Hebrew nomenclature there's the perturbation of his doctrine, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44) Ah, the good old days when it sufficed to love only those who loved you and hate those who didn't. Wait, today is the good old days!
A scribe asked Jesus which is the first of all commandments. Jesus responded with not just the first of all commandments but also told him the second "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." He then added, "There is none other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:31) The challenge is we cannot fulfill the first commandment- love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength without first fulfilling the second. You see? Perturbing! If I don't love you, neighbor, there is no way in hell, earth, heaven that I love God. In the span of time and space that one is either policing or being policed they are neighbors. Admittedly there is a challenge to like one another let alone love.
Jesus must have been out of his mind to think that folk could love their neighbors. He must have been radical! Maybe those kinds of "radical" thoughts were better suited for the first century and not the twenty-first century. Yes, it is definitely better to disavow Jesus and his words than dare to live up to them.
Soon the dust will settle and we will each return to our individual slow process of dying. We will resume/ presume a sense of normalcy rather than truly living and living for one another. That is until "there is a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not." (Matthew 2:18)
Friday, January 22, 2016
The God Who Sees Me
This video is not for the squeamish but through giggles and tears of laughter I watched it immediately thinking about God reaching out to us in the middle of our mess to cleanse us.
I know my past and can't help but imagine God SHOULD HAVE BEEN gagging at the sight of me but, no. He took me in like Abba, Father- like Daddy with a strong constitution. Like El Roi, the God who sees me, and loves me anyway.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)