Every once in a while I take a look back to see how I wound up where I am. I was particularly thinking about my Monday class at Melodyland School of Theology. Sure it’s a tremendous amount of knowledge gained but even more so I am constantly reflecting on my life as a Christian and building a deeper relationship with Christ due to the resultant understanding.
I was listening to one of the CDs the instructor recorded about prophets. It was a good teaching that went along the lines of what I had been taught previously and in many ways much deeper. Anyway the instructor mentioned she was part of the fruit of Kathryn Kuhlman's ministry. She mentioned that although Kathryn Kuhlman did not personally mentor one on one, she was mentored through that ministry as a young believer.
It took me back to when I read the book “God Can Do It Again” by Kathryn Kuhlman maybe about four or five years ago. I was so excited about God's ability to heal through people I was nearly beside myself. I wanted to meet this person who had such a strong gift of healing. I tell you I was so excited that when an acquaintance of mine whose young relative was found to have a brain tumor sought prayer via Facebook I couldn’t respond quickly enough to tell her about the book I had read and that she should get in touch with this person God used so mightily. I prayed for the child as well but I just knew the answer to her prayer was that extraordinarily anointed woman of God. I had no idea at the time that Kathryn Kuhlman had gone on to be with the Lord decades earlier! So yeah, I was as big a noob as they come.
All that to say this 1) by divine providence I am a beneficiary of the fruit of Kathryn Kuhlman’s ministry. 2) I should not doubt the gift God has placed in me. The same Holy Spirit that dwelled inside of Kathryn Kuhlman dwells inside of each of us. For the longest time my first response to a crisis had been to go get someone else. Unfortunately at that time the person I wanted to go get was long gone! It was very difficult for me to break the “go get” habit and replace it with the “tap in” habit- very difficult. Now my goal is to “stay in.” As in stay in the Spirit.
There was a particularly trying time for my family and me when people were seemingly, well they actually were, dying right and left on both the maternal and paternal sides of my family. While making an effort to go get someone to pray for me- for us, I heard Holy Spirit speak plainly to me that I was trying to reach out to everyone but Him. I about froze in my tracks I tell you the truth. I then heard the words “you were created for such a time as this.” I followed up on those words by reading the scripture in Esther 4:14 they pointed to and thought, in my noobness, that my family was set to be destroyed! I read the chapter in its entirety and then some for context remembering Esther interceded for her people and they were spared. Who is better to speak to God for me but me? In this case He told me straight out!
I begged God for mercy and to spare my family. What happened was He gave me peace and understanding about things. There were no timely platitudes; just truth and the wisdom of God. Did family members stop dying? No, but Holy Spirit helped me deal with the overwhelming sense of loss. I was forced to draw closer to Him in a way that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I would have continued to rely on people first and use God as a backup plan of sorts. The implication was if they couldn’t get through to Him on my behalf then I would try. He was breaking me of deferring to others because of personal doubt and insecurity. Others have a place in my life. It is just not first. That is the Lord's position. In that season of time He broke from me the tendency to idolize people and put them before Him.
Back to Esther. I recently learned that it was not simply because Esther was so beautiful and perfumed in sweet smelling oils that she was able to save her people. It was because she was one of God’s chosen. The cleansing ritual she underwent was part of her anointing process. God anoints His kings- in her case, queen. Her physical appearance was secondary to her character. That’s what God saw despite the fact we tend to focus on her cooking and beauty that got the king's attention. We should have been focusing on what got the King of kings attention! That nugget of revelation came front the fruit of Kathryn Kuhlman’s ministry. That being said. I am exactly where I need to be; where the Lord leads me.
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