Lessons Learned

I have a habit of being in places and wondering why I am there. Don’t misunderstand me, I know I've been led to those places by the spirit but what's not always immediately apparent is what I am there to learn.  Recently, I went to see a renowned evangelist.  If I named the person most of you would know who it was.  Anyway, I had to go.  I just didn't know why. I expected to hear a good word but what Holy Spirit was going to teach along with it is what I was anticipating. 

 

I have to say once I arrived at the venue the atmosphere was something to behold. Had I been in tune it would have been palpable. (By the spirit I knew I was there to observe)  There was electricity in the air because the people were excited. Their excitement was multiplied seven-fold when the evangelist began to speak.  Honestly, I've never witnessed anything remotely like it.  Anyone would envy, yes envy, to have such feedback from a congregation.  She had their attention from the first word she uttered. Much of the time most of the people were on their feet.  Some were speaking in tongues, one man was running around the building, a women was shaking like an epileptic, the best way I can describe it, and hitting herself repeatedly on the forehead.  It was pandemonium!  All the while I kept wondering if the excitement was for the word of the Lord or for her.  I didn't hear a lot of what she was saying because I was so distracted.  


Interestingly, how Holy Spirit works, what I needed to hear I had no problems hearing. Although I didn't get caught up in the pandemonium, the word that did penetrate the noise had a profound impact.  Somewhere in the midst of all the noise part of a scripture came to me- and when they heard the law they rent their clothes.  The actual scripture is 2Kings 22:11 And it came to pass, when the king had heard the words of the book of the law, that he rent his clothes.  If you skip down to verse 13 the king says: Go ye, enquire of the Lord for me, and for the people, and for all Judah, concerning the words of this book that is found: for great is the wrath of the Lord that is kindled against us, because our fathers have not hearkened unto the words of this book, to do according unto all that which is written concerning us.


  The people were incited and jumping, shouting, and running around the building but no one rent their clothes!  No one was solemn and seeking to ask the Lord how I can tear up this person that I have become; rent my clothes, be renewed and put on Christ.  The evangelist was saying some powerful things but the atmosphere was that of a pep rally and not a call to the glory of God.  What I didn’t observe, however,  was the call to repentance because the kingdom of God is at hand.  That was the lesson I was there for.
   

Recently while having a conversation with a friend on an unrelated subjected, she mentioned to me that the Lord will sometimes show you how not to be.  I’ve often visualized myself speaking to large crowds in the days before I gave my life to Christ.  I wanted to be recognized as someone with something to say– something people would pay to listen to.  Looking back I had absolutely nothing to say outside of life experiences and certainly nothing worth paying for.  I was worldly and could only speak on worldliness. I surely thought that having large crowds in front of me could validate me because I couldn’t validate myself. 
 

What is interesting to me now is since I have given my life to Christ I see, again, myself speaking in front of large crowds.  However, instead of a message of worldliness, I have a kingdom message– the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I don’t need validation because I know who I am in Christ and am beginning to walk in who He has called me to be.  I will know for a fact that wherever I speak the lesson will not be about me and how I might incite a crowd but about Him who sent me and His message of repentance and reconciliation to Father through Him. 

Additionally, Holy Spirit showed me a lot about myself.  (Yes, the lesson continued days later!) He showed me how I was not much different than the people I was observing at the evangelist’s conference.  He showed me that religion was starting to get a foothold in my life.  I had to address whether on Sundays I went to church because I wanted to be there versus I was expected to be there.  He took me back through the past three years of being a church member and showed me instances where I idolized certain church leaders.  He revealed to me how I worshipped the worship rather than relished having an encounter with God.  He pointed out how I can visit another church and then compare their worship to what I was accustomed to.  He showed me how, in those instances, when comparison stepped in it meant that I worshipped the worship I was accustomed to.  

He even took me back to a time years ago when I didn’t appreciate the praise and worship at a women’s conference and Him admonishing me that it didn’t matter what I liked.  They were worshipping Him and I needed to set aside my prideful ways.  Really that’s what it was, pride in the fleshy aspect of church and there was nothing godly in my attitude.

He revealed to me how the flesh can be activated in church and bypass the spirit.  He showed me that a person may think he’s having a spiritual encounter when it has been the flesh that was engaged all along.  The flesh loves a good choir and a good word.  Even how one responds to the presence of God within a congregation can be manufactured.  The times when it is asked to lift up hands to God as opposed to being moved to lift them up by the spirit.  He was showing me the difference between a church experience and an encounter with His holiness.  He showed me how very easy it is for good people to invoke a counterfeit experience.  My God, thank you for teaching and correction. Thank you for caring enough to make sure I learn the hard lessons.  It not easy trying to unlearn what I’ve been learning but, God, you are patient and merciful.  Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.  I thank You, Father, for dealing with the pride in me.  How easy was it for me to say look at them when I should have being saying look at me; heal me.  Forgive me.  I repent. Thank you, Jesus for saving grace. Lord, Jesus, in your name I pray. Amen